Love not Hate

I’m often asked if people treat me differently now than they had in the past. It’s not as clear as that if I am honest. Some people that were in my life decided to see me as this person that has suddenly become “weird for Jesus” and have become withdrawn, I pray for them every day.


On a chilly night precisely one year ago I arrived in Virginia not knowing what the next few days were going to mean nor was I expecting anything. All I knew is that one of my most favorite human beings offered me a place to stay in his home and a little help in restoring my faith. That man, now counted among my heroes, heard my very long confession (it had been 18 years!) and celebrated the holy sacrifice of the mass for me. I felt welcomed, loved, and ready to listen to this voice in my heart. What I would experience over the next few days was nothing short of amazing, and for that, I am forever grateful to you, Father Mike.


As we enter into this night and the Last Supper I cannot help but think about what was going through Jesus’ mind during these final hours of his life. Here is a man who knew he was about to be betrayed by one of his closest, and denied by another. Here is a man who had to see that he was going to die on the cross alone, shouldering the sins and burdens of the world and giving himself up for all of us. How can we take that single act of sacrifice and apply it to our own lives?


Sometimes it takes a look at the past to learn and understand the effect that toxic people in your life had on you or continue to have. While life is filled with lessons, trials, and tribulations, it is up to us to try and understand as much as we can.


With all of this discussion about being a good human being and taking a moment before you venture forth into the darkness of the next moment how many of us actually follow through with it? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and might not ever come but if you can glance at your day and where you are right now smile and being appeased with how things turned out then you’re a majority of the way there.


As someone who was drawn back from the brink of losing their faith, with no one around me to help me get back on that pathway I know what it is like to walk alone in the darkness for a long time. I understand that it isn’t pleasant and looking back on it now sheds new light on just how dark it really was. I thought my life was great, it was bleak. I thought I had everything I ever needed, turns out I didn’t have the one thing I needed the most, Him.

Crucify Him

Why would anyone choose the mob? Because it is an easy way out. It’s for the person that doesn’t want to make an effort in their life. It is for the person that is entirely content with being absolutely ordinary. We have become so obsessed with latching onto the latest news bite, tweet, Facebook post, Youtube video, etc., that we forget what our real purpose is on this mortal plane.


This morning my thoughts were around perspectives. What I find interesting is when I talk to people, and they tell me they watched some video by someone that they found inspiring. What does the word inspire mean? The official definition is “to fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.” The thing I want to point out here with this definition is “do something.” Of course, an inspiring video should make you feel something, and I’d argue it isn’t inspiring otherwise. However, more importantly, you should want to do something even if that something is to think about your world differently.


Why do you do what you do? What are your heart and mind telling you about why you’re alive and doing what you’re doing? When everything around you feels like it has crumbled to dust why do we persevere? What, at our very core pulses and emanates to everything around us and fuels our every action? Is all of this called a vocation? On some level, sure. Have you ever had the feeling that you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing?