Sisters and Brothers,
For the past few nights I've woke up after a couple hours of sleep deep in prayer. The first time this happened a few weeks ago I was frightened. Unsure of what was going on and this was something I've never experienced before. I've been startled awake before but nothing ever like this. I felt a great peace and after some time I fell back asleep. The past few nights have been different. I'd wake up in the middle of the rosary, The Magnificat or Psalm 95. I've also found that I was unable to stop even after I woke and would always finish the prayer that I was currently reciting. Soon after I'd fall back to sleep and not wake back up until the morning.
I found myself dwelling on this after the first couple times and recently just realized that this is where I'm at right now and this is my current spiritual state. Instead of fighting it and wondering why I've just embraced it. I can't decide when The Holy Spirit will grace me with It's presence I just have to be mindful of the NOW and let it happen. As it turns out right now God likes to wake me up at 2am and give me a little poke.
The reason I tell you this today is because I think so many of us would instantly start trying to figure out why this is happening and think of ways to make it stop. I would have been one of those people a few months ago. But now I view the world, the universe, life and the present moment from a much different lens. All we have is right now. We don't have the past and we certainly don't have the future. All too often our first stop is Google so we can find out what is wrong with us. When in fact that there might not be anything wrong with us at all. Don't read this as "there's nothing ever wrong with us" if you're not feeling well you should definitely see a Doctor. What I'm trying to say is that we're always in search of fixing what might be the new normal in our lives and going back to the way it was when we should just keep moving forward in this stream of life.
Stop worrying about the past, embrace the next unknown moments (future) but be present in the now. Understand that you're not alone on this journey of life and that God is always with us no matter where we go. He won't let you falter and if you trip He'll always be there to pick you back up again.
I view this realization of the now as another conversion for me on this journey of life that we're all on. Moving from someone who held onto the past as tight as possible and was always questioning the future to just making sure that I'm living my best life right now. Making sure I think before I speak and act and making sure that my neighbors are taken care of. God will take care of me and the rest of the details.
One of the most amazing things about these kind of conversions is that they often free up a chunk of time that you spend daily or weekly worrying, dwelling and wondering about things. This frees you up to focus on stoking the fire in your heart and soul as well as deepening your relationship with God. What a wonderful gift!