I'm a 36 year old IT Manager at a University in Providence, RI who is currently discerning a priestly vocation.

Heard

Heard

Hear the other side.
— Saint Augustine

Brothers & Sisters,

I just want to be heard.

I used to think those words often. There were times in my life when I’d look to God and consider those words. I was so desperate for Him to hear me, save me, love me, wrap His arms around me.

I walked away.

I’ve been searching for a long time to figure out why I walked away from my faith , and it’s only become clear to me recently that I was impatient with God not answering my prayers. So I did what so many of us do when someone isn’t there for us, I walked away. I can remember clearly thinking about how I could feel called to be a priest and yet have so many prayers go unanswered. Why should I put the work in if He wasn’t as well?

I was wrong and I am loved.

It took me years to realize how wrong I was about all of my assumptions. I am loved, I am saved, I am heard, and He is always with me. We all are. Even when I was lost and wandering for 18 years, there was still something pulling me back. He was always there with open arms waiting to embrace me once again.

I won’t give up.

I trust in Him. I firmly believe that no matter what He will always be there for me. No matter how hard I fall, He will always be there to pick me up and brush me off. The world could slip away from me, and I’d still have Him. I’m not out of the woods yet, and I have days where my legs wobble, and my knees are shaky, but I just close my eyes for a minute and feel Him with me and know that everything is going to be just fine.

I was heard. I was always heard. I am always heard.

Yours,
Jeff

Photo by Ahna Ziegler on Unsplash

Wonder

Wonder

Awareness

Awareness