I keep trying to come up with words that can describe how I feel about this whole mess and I can't ever find the right words. Heartbroken? Sure. Sad? Yes. Stressed? Of course. Angry? Absolutely. Ashamed? You got it. Disappointed? Without a doubt. I know I'm in a tough place because as someone who values his time of sitting in silence and being able to still my thoughts I've been completely unable to do this for the past 24+ hours. Silence and contemplation is a major pillar in my life so not being able to get more than a few minutes in is tough.