All in Discernment

*big sigh*

I keep trying to come up with words that can describe how I feel about this whole mess and I can't ever find the right words. Heartbroken? Sure. Sad? Yes. Stressed? Of course. Angry? Absolutely. Ashamed? You got it. Disappointed? Without a doubt. I know I'm in a tough place because as someone who values his time of sitting in silence and being able to still my thoughts I've been completely unable to do this for the past 24+ hours. Silence and contemplation is a major pillar in my life so not being able to get more than a few minutes in is tough.

I don't know what to say...

It's times like this that really test my faith, my feelings regarding the path I'm on, and this church that I love dearly. I've been in a fog for most of the afternoon and into this evening after reading as much as I can about the news that broke today. 300+ Priests were identified as credible abusers of over 1,000 victims during a 70+ year timespan (source). My heart breaks for the victims, and I know there's nothing I could ever say that will ever make them feel any better. I'll pray for the victims, the church, and the good priests out there.

Can we talk?

Our community needs to be protected, taught, loved and shown the extraordinary love that God has for us and we can't do any of that if they don't trust the leaders of the church. It disgusts me that sex abuse and cover-ups happened and I think about it all the time, but I do believe that we can look to those that are doing good in the church as examples of what we can rest our faith upon.

Vocational Doubts

Discerning your vocation isn't always rainbows and butterflies. While there are plenty of moments where you'll find yourself filled with joy, there are also moments of doubt that we'll have to work through. I would argue that these moments might be more critical and pivotal in the process than a moment of joy, in fact, they'll often bring you to a moment of happiness in the end.

Too old to be a Priest?

My brothers and sisters this is just the start of what I'm assuming will be many posts on clarifying assumptions that you might have regarding older vocations or vocations in general. I know I've had quite a few and if I can share them here to help make someone else's possible discernment process a bit easier then all the better!

And I was Rescued

I was so encrusted with salt, self-loathing, anger, fear, a bloated ego, and disdain for anything that didn't have to do with me. I didn't think I needed saving, but none of us ever do until we do. I truly believe the Lord lifted me up from this wretched life and delivered my soul and me to where I am now.

The concept of being saved by the Lord might be lost on some of you but if you permit me the time I'd like to attempt to explain to you what exactly I mean.

A Guide for those not Discerning (Part 1)

I'm a 36 year old discerning a call to the vocation of priesthood. I get a lot of questions every day and I thought I'd compile a list of the questions I get a lot and try and give you some answers or insight into what this all means. This list isn't comprehensive and really just encompasses the most popular questions I get. I am sure there will be another post made as I travel down this road of discernment. Enjoy!

On Faith.

It had been 18 years since I stepped into a church for something that wasn't a funeral service or a wedding. 18 years. To this day I am still unsure why I stopped going to mass. The "I was busy" excuse doesn't really fly with me so I don't think I'll use that one. Truth be told I really don't know the reason.